| THERE'S NO HIDING THIS! Upon deciding that i was going to try to do this, knowing that i could back out at any time (although never finding a reason too stronger than my passion to see this through), i needed to figure out just how i was going to do this. One might think it's as easy as just cutting if off, but there was a lot to take into consideration. I wanted to do this properly, and safely, so as to inflict the least amount of harm possible and cause the least amount of pain, while also ensuring i was not risking any chance of infection (or worse, tetanus). The plan i eventually came to put together, thanks greatly in part to an article i read at BME about a couple who bit each others fingertips off as a commitment to each other, is as follows. I first and foremost wanted to feel as little pain as possible, i was not looking to hurt myself, just get through the means which were necessary to leave me with a stub for a finger. I was first going to wrap a rubber band around my finger beneath the first joint above the knuckle to cut off blood flow. It took only only about ten minutes for my finger to turn white, and blue. I then proceeded to keep my hand (partially, as it stung, horribly) submerged in ice water until my finger, and the part of my hand beneath it, was completely numb. I tested this by poking my finger and hand with my knife. I of course wanted a sterile environment. I was not about to risk infection, or tetanus, or any other crazy awful thing like that. The counter top used, my desk, my knife and the needle i planned to use to attempt some stitches were all sterilized with rubbing alcohol. I had two close friends present also, not only to help film and photograph the entire adventure, but to rush me to the hospital just in case anything were to go horribly awry. Nothing ever did, although there were some tense moments, and all more or less turned out as planned. Once my hand was completely numb from the ice water, my plan was to dislocate the joint so that i could more easily cut through the finger and be done with it. This proved easier said than done. I first tried to just press down hard with my knife on the joint hoping it would pop through he joint, so i could cut through the remaining tissue. This did not work. I cut through the skin to the bone, but could not get the joint to pop. Despite what you may be thinking, i felt nothing. I then tried to put my finger in my mouth and bite through the joint to dislocate it, but as hard as i bit down (and as hard as it was to do that to my own finger) this also failed to work. I was growing frustrated, and at this point it was clear i had fucked up my knuckle and if i could not cut off my finger now i would definitely need to go into the hospital and have it either removed, or put in a cast. I put my finger back in the ice-water as it had begun to warm up and grow a little aware to the pain i had inflicted (although it honestly never really hurt that bad, i was taking every precaution to prevent it). Although i did not want to just lob it off, fearing i might break the knuckle or the bone and leave fragments, i had prepared for this alternative and it was the only way left to go. Wanting to get this done and over with as i was not really looking forward to this moment, once my finger was again numb in the ice water i got my butcher knife ready, stuck my finger underneath the corner of my microwave, and using the edge of the microwave as a guide, thrust the knife down onto the counter through my finger. It popped the joint, and cut through my finger simultaneously. I must admit, i looked away. I was not even sure it worked, and my first thought was "well shit, now i have to go into the hospital and explain why my finger is all chopped up". But as i looked down, i saw the knife between my hand and my finger, and noticed that it had indeed worked. There was a bit of skin still attached, and i tried to saw it off with the butcher knife but it did not work. I used my pocket knife to cut the last piece off. As i looked at my hand, and then at my finger as it lay on the counter, i was overwhelmed with the strongest feeling of surrealism i had ever experienced. As i'm getting a grasp on the fact that my finger has been completely detached, my friend picks it up off of the countertop and squeezes it, also stunned that it is no longer attached. I was then distracted by his actions, and overwhelmed with a feeling of queasiness. I covered the finger temporarily, and went to lay down on my patio to drink some water and feel the cool air. I was then completely overwhelmed with the surreal experience, and reveling in an epiphany of the meaning. As i felt better i went back inside, wrapped the finger up in a zip lock, and put it in the freezer. Or maybe my friends did, a lot was going on, and they were very helpful. We were all amazed to see how little bleeding my hand was doing, considering the circumstances. I wet a cloth with rubbing alcohol and pressed it against my finger to sterilize and clean it further as a precaution. I still felt nothing. ::BEWARE:: I finally decided it was time to see if i could attempt to stitch up my finger. I knew i could not stitch it up so long as the rubber band (or hair scrunchie, as it was, for i had no rubber bands on hand) was still wrapped around my finger underneath the knuckle, for i needed to pull my skin up and over the exposed bone. So, with cloth in hand, i cut the scrunchie off. Blood started to spurt and pulse out of my finger, and with only one thought, "Oh shit!", i applied pressure to my finger to stop the bleeding. After a few concerned minutes deciding that if we could not stop the bleeding we would need to go to the hospital right away, i let go of my finger in an attempt to see if i could at least tie it off again with another hair scrunchie. My hand, although it still bled a little, had stopped pouring and pulsating blood to all of our surprise, and so we all calmed down and decided to give it a little more time. After about ten minutes or so, the veins had clotted and although a little blood still emerged we figured we were safe from having to go to the hospital just yet. Unfortunately, there was too much exposed bone. I was concerned because i was not sure that i could stitch it up in that state myself. I brought up some research to review the alternative methods of self treatment, but they were souly to clean it daily, keep it bandaged, and let it heal over on it's own. However, i did not have a clean cut at the end of my finger. Because i had to lob it off, i had cut too much skin off beneath the joint and the bone was exposed too much. There was no way i could see the skin healing up over it. I also did not want to clean and treat it daily for over a month while it slowly healed as an open wound susceptible to infection and disease. We decided to wrap up my hand temporarily, and clean everything up. We still had to take care of the finger which i had cut off, and eat (although it was actually suggested, no one was really in the mood for ribs anymore). We stopped by a fast food joint on the way to my friends place and they graciously hooked me up with some cheap burgers and a soda, as i had suddenly began craving sugar. Once we were there, we ate, and i decided i needed to go into the hospital to be stitched up. I really couldn't do it any other way, and i wanted to play it as safe as possible and have them at least look at it and make sure that all went well (considering what i had done). I first needed to take care of my finger however, so my friend set up a place in his backyard for it to take place. I taped a towel to my face to breathe through to prevent fume inhalation and keeping as much distance as i could, and low to avoid direct fume inhalation, as well as being outside to disperse the fumes better to avoid too much direct contact (this shit has a scary warning label), i put my finger in a small jar i had acquired, sealed the inside of the lid with some glue, and filled the jar with formaldehyde. I screwed the cap on, we stopped by my place to drop off the finger and remaining formaldehyde, and then proceeded to visit the hospital. ~ Jason, Comment about this adventure at the bottom of the next page! You will find below a non-graphic-ish (depending upon your definition i suppose) photo of my hand, bandaged, the finger (in a jar) and downloadable wallpapers of the image for those who might just be as interested in having it as we are! The rest of this story, as well as more photos (definitely graphic in nature) will follow with the next installment; "Part Three: Fruition" Those interested in knowing more, i found great support and discussion of and about this topic (and more) with Sir Rapture (Nick) himself, over at Life Modified dot com. I have currently released to him a photo i have yet to release here, check it out if you dare. He is also (apparently, and most excitingly) going to be interviewing us about the entire ordeal for his site, we hope you look forward to it as much as we do! Also included are links to the article about the couple, which we referenced a lot in regards to how to go about this whole adventure, and a link to BME which we used to prepare ourselves for what we were really getting into (to be specific, we visited their "extreme" section, we do not suggest it if you do not have a strong stomach).
PART THREE: "FRUITION"
www.lifemodified.com BME
article about Couple www.BME.com Special Thanks To Mark & Hannah!! |
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